Bridget: Another year, a brand new diary. Once again I was summoned, kicking and screaming, to my mother's turkey curry buffet, where I've had some of the most shaming experiences of my life.
Mother: Hello, darling. Lovely to see you.
Bridget: It was, as usual, crammed full with some of the most dangerous perverts in the UK, disguised as close, personal friends of my parents.
Una: Hello, Bridget.
Bridget: Hello, Una. Oh, no, thanks.
Una: Love the jumper .
Geoffrey: I prefer what's underneath it.
Bridget: Uncle Geoffrey!
Geoffrey: Hello, gorgeous.
Bridget: Hello.
Dad: Hello, darling.
Bridget: Hello, Dad. How's it going?
Dad: I wish I was dead.
Bridget: But this year, there was one crucial difference. Nice jumper.
Mark: My mother's taste never falters .
Bridget: Never. You always wonder how it's going to work out at the end of the story. Maria and Captain Von Trapp, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Mark Darcy and Bridget Jones. I've found my happy ending at last. And nothing in the world can spoil it . Well, almost nothing.
Richard: Bridget Jones, what the fuck are you doing?
Bridget: I, I can't see anywhere soft to land.
Richard: How about on your ass? Bridget, unless you want to get sacked at 6,000 feet, you will be on your way in exactly three seconds. Three, two, one... cue Bridget.
Bridget: Skydiving, a dangerous bane to the countryside and emergency services, or a safe and exhilarating hobby? Well... Let's see, shall we?
Richard: Go. Jump. For Christ's sakes, go! Ok. She's out. Unit Two, you got her?
Man: OK, we see her.
Richard: Bridget, open the chute. Open it. Open your fucking parachute! Pull the thingy or you will die!
Bridget: Oh. Honestly, you forget just one teeny, weeny detail and everyone treats you like an idiot.
Bridget: Where was I? Oh, yes... Mark Darcy. The question is: what happens after you walk off into the sunset?
Richard: Bridget? Earth to Bridget Sodding Jones. Bridget, you're on. You're live.
Bridget: Well, this is Bridget Jones for Sit Up Britain, reporting to you from a big vat of excrement.
Richard: Unit two, give me a close-up of the porker.
Bridget: Another year, a brand new diary. Once again I was summoned, kicking and screaming, to my mother's turkey curry buffet, where I've had some of the most shaming experiences of my life.
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